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I’m at the point in my life now where I really feel I’m ready to lose weight. In the past I’ve toyed with many diets without much success, just gaining more weight in the process.

I’ve always been overweight. Even as a young child I was chubby (although not as monstrously huge as my Mother and the other children wanted me to believe) but I steadily put on weight throughout my childhood. At the age of 11 my Mother took me to the doctor, I weighed in at 12 stone (168lbs). They ran a few blood tests but could find nothing wrong. Within a year I was around 15 stone ( 210lbs) and by the age of 14 I was 18 stone (250lbs). I managed to maintain that for about 4 years but since then it’s just gone downhill.

Now at 23 I’m pushing 25stone (350lbs) and I want my life back. I want to be able to go places without wondering if I’ll fit or if there will be a long walk involved (although to me a ‘long walk’ is considerably shorter than most people would class as a short walk). I don’t want to be abused in the street anymore, or have people write me off as nothing because I’m bigger than most.

I’ve decided to take a bit of an extreme measure. I don’t want to have to resort to surgery or end up so fat that I become immobile. So, I’m giving up eating all together. I’ve decided to try something called the Cambridge diet. Basically you cut food out all together and have three sachets of stuff a day worth 138 calories each.

I made the initial contact with the local counsellor yesterday and I’m going to go and meet her on Tuesday. It all does sound a bit scary. I’ll be weighed, measured and photographed and she’ll explain the diet to me in more detail. Then from Wednesday I’ll be on the diet.

I decided to make this journal because I feel that it will help me if I write things down, plus maybe get the support of (and support) other people on LJ. I also feel like documenting my struggles will help me to overcome them.

My goals and expectations are simple. I want my life back, I don’t want to fear going to sleep every night because I’m scared I won’t wake up, I want a future for myself and I want to be able to do simple things that everyone else takes for granted. I don’t care about being skinny. I’ve done this to myself and now it’s time to correct it.

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